This weekend I attended a family reunion with my extended
family. At 28 I am still single and somewhat anticipating the time when I will
have a husband and a family of my own. Most of my relatives who are my age are
married and have children. Therefore I became an observer. It was interesting
to observe the various couples and their relationships. The person who caught
the most attention though, was my cousin who is a year older than I and just
had her 5th child. Ever since she was young all she wanted to be was
a wife and a mother. She grew up in California where people are a little more
liberal. It surprised me that a person with her surrounding had such a desire
to want something so simple. Within her first year of collage at BYU (she went
to college mainly to find a husband) she met a man; they soon got married and
started a family rather quickly. Both of them have always seemed happy and
content with their life--at peace. Then I look at myself... I know it is bad to
compare, but I can't help it. I can't say in my younger years I was content
with something so simple. Marriage wasn't even on my mind till age 22. It seems
my attention was on so many different things; I wasn't sure what I wanted. The
truth is though, I fear, we are not trained in the proper manner. My mind has
reflected a lot on the past or "the old days" when things were a lot
different, a lot simpler and there weren't so many options in life. In the
1920's and 1930's women WERE wives and mothers. That's what they grew up to become.
They were "trained" to become housewives, raise children, and serve
their husbands. There were less divorces and men and women had specific,
important, but very different roles. Now here we are today. Men and women seem
to almost be competing with each other who is the better sex. This idea or
"competition" doesn't really rub me the right way. I, deep down
inside, don't feel like it's right. I am religious, and I know the scriptures
are true. In few passages God reveals that he made men and women different, but
created them as equals. As such, I believe, they should have different roles. I
know in our day and time it is not uncommon for the wife to work or take up
other roles. And nothing will change and perhaps get farther from where things
"are supposed to be." I can't help thinking, that perhaps, I was not
brought up with the right ideas about what I'm supposed to be as a woman, how
to be a good wife, and serve my husband as I felt my cousin was doing
efficiently. Men need women to be women and women need men to be men. I'm not
blaming my circumstance on my parents or anyone else; it's just the world I
grew up in. It probably does have something to do with how I'm affected by my
surroundings and my personality. I have always been somewhat incisive about not
just a good marriage choice, but a career as well. Now that I'm older I envy
those who found marriage so easy and natural, at such a young age. They can
grow together and become one as they are both developing into what they are
"supposed to be". I have already made so many decisions on my own and
have developed my ideas of how I think things are "supposed to be."
All I want now is to have a husband and a family. I enjoy school and learning,
but it doesn't bring me the joy I know a family would. On the other hand many
may argue that young marriage, or marriage at all, with the wrong person may
end in divorce. Divorce way back when was not very common. We are in such an
age where abandoning discomfort has become so easy. Our world today has taught
us that we can have what we want, when we want it, and it’s all about me. Of
course it doesn't affect everyone in the same way. Some of us are very selfish
and others don't seem to have a selfish bone in their bodies. The bottom line
is we aren't being trained to seek out what, I believe, God intended for us.
I loved everything about this post! Thank you :) I agree that our roles are different as men and women and I think the competition going on between genders is a great work of the adversary. If he can get women doing both the roles the men lose their value in the home. I think this causes many of the problems which lead to divorce. Your awesome! I bet you are going to do great things for our world during this Great War of influences. Oh did you see the recent articles about women protesting for the preisthood and attending the men's conference session? Or the one last year about wearing pants to church? They are missing the point! I dunno let me know if you have seen those articles
ReplyDeleteI heard about the pants thing. And I thought it was a little ridiculous. And no I have't heard about the Priesthood thing... It kind of makes me sad that women can't embrace femininity in the way God has constructed it. I just find this all very disrespectful. Women, go to your meetings and enjoy them, and let men go to theirs. We have a relief society for a reason: to connect with other women. Let the guys have "guy time" at Priesthood meeting for heaven's sake! :)
DeleteAlso, I think that is the challenge of this day and time to go the path God intended for us even as the gap between those who follow and those who choose different is widened. This is a war of influences! I'm so grateful for prophets and personal revelation.
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